I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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