walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
