And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
