I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
