the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
