So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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