So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
