Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
