is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
