I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize