All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
