The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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