Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
