does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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