I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
