woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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