Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
