Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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