Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
