Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
