That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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