Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
