16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
