I wannas sexs uuuuu
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
