i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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