Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The ass gains better be worth it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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