I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
