hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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