hell yes lets make some ravioli
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize