I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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