I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
