wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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