So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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