Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
