I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize