hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
