They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Michael Bay diarrhea
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
