they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
