a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
