During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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