I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
