theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize