Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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