sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize