I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
