woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
