How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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