I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
