I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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