nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
