Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
did i walk over a car last night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
that is very illegal...i love you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
