Small penises have feelings too.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
