got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
