I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize