what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
