Umm I'm too high to move.
she woke up with a sticky ear
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i now understand why vodka
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize