i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
