At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
