I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
