why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
