Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize