u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
