i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just want nice things and good sex
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
