Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
