You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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