I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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