omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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