The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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